I usually get a lot more of the women I like and that are closer to me by using the niche online dating site, but I get the bulk of my dates from women on Match.com and Yahoo personals.

So what sites should you be using? I really recommend you use Match.com as one of your choices. Here are a list of online dating sites I recommend trying.

Yahoo Personals
Lava Life
Adultmatchmaker.com
Eharmony.com
Americansingles.com
Adultfriendfinder.com
Jdate.com
Christiansoulmates.com
Date.com
Friendfinder.com
Singleparentsmingle.com

Some people see this advice as wrong because “just be yourself” requires no work, and without work one cannot get anything in life. These people that feel trying to improve oneself is the way to go in the dating scene. Let me give you my insight on this topic.

First of all, depending on who says “just be yourself” changes the meaning. For example, if a novice says “just be yourself” he means to do nothing and just let fate take its course. On the other hand, if an experienced guru on dating says “just be yourself” then it has a totally different meaning. Being yourself, your true self that nature intended you to be, requires a lot of work. It requires that you first remove all the doubt and fear you have of women, for when you have fear and doubt then you are not being yourself. It means removing all guilt you have: guilt of hurting other people, guilt of doing something wrong.

Hence, “just be yourself” means to remove all bad emotions you carry inside of you so that you see your true self, and when that happens, you become more attractive to women.

20 Golden Dating Rules
Need a prep up before your big date? Here are my quick list of 20 rules you should keep in mind. But don’t knock yourself silly for not remembering all of them. It should come naturally…
1) Be confident.
2) Teach yourself to smile!
3) Good eye contact.
4) Say her name a lot during conversation.
5) Say hello.
6) Don’t be afraid to position yourself near her.
7) Don’t let conversation go on too long; you want her to want more.
Be polite, but not needy.
9) Give sincere compliments.
10) Anytime you make eye contact, keep looking at her: Make her break it first!!
11) Always try to look good, even wearing a baseball cap!
12) Don’t become a girlfriend with women you are interested in!
13) Don’t be her therapist for her problems.
14) Model yourself after Clark Gable – attitude, confidence, charisma, looking suave.
15) Any mistakes you made in the past, learn from them, and don’t let them happen again!!
16) Make the women feel special.
17) When you see that you are in a position to close the deal, close don’t procrastinate!
18) When talking on the phone, don’t stay on for more then 10-15 minutes, seem like you’re busy, even if you are not.
19) It’s ok to sometimes play hard to get, but don’t overdo it.
20) Always believe in yourself, no matter the situation.

Do Ladies Find YOU Attractive?

When asked, most women say they want a nice sensitive guy that will buy them flowers and basically act like one of their girlfriends. They like the idea of getting flowers and having a sensitive guy to talk to about their problems.

Note: A lot of men end up becoming that guy, the guy that girls talk to about their problems. But the relationship usually doesn’t get any farther than being just friends.

All women will tell you they want to date the nice guy or that they can never seem to find a nice guy to date. The problem is, this isn’t exactly correct. These women aren’t lying when they say they want these things…when they think logical they do, because it makes sense. But remember, women don’t choose logically what they are attracted to.

So, when they think about it consciously. Women want a guy that will buy them flowers and talk to them when they feel down. But in reality, their instinct is to like a guy who will take control and act like a man should. So what qualities do women want in men?

What they’ve always wanted and always will want. Women want real men, men that are in control and don’t ask for permission to do anything. They don’t want to be in charge, they want someone to be in charge of them. I know this sounds harsh, but it’s true.

Here are some examples, have ever noticed that…

When you give a girl a compliment or tell her how beautiful she is she shies away from you? This probably happens every time you try and start a conversation. But when you…

Notice a flaw about her, she will get more involved in the conversation and take you more seriously.

Also, have you noticed…

When you spoil a girl by buying her gifts, taking her to an expensive dinner, she usually thanks you the evening and goes out with another guy? But, If you simply go for a quick drink and act like you are equals she feels attracted to you, because you’re not catering to her every need.

Have you noticed when….

You call a girl often after a date and she seems distant and funny. But, when you don’t call her and you act like you’re busy and could live with her or without her, she won’t stop calling you. The truth is women don’t want to be catered to, spoiled or treated like princesses. This is what women want from a man…

First of all, women want you to be confident in your self. So, if you approach a girl and seem shy and awkward, that is a turn off. Women want you to lead the way, not the other way around. They don’t want to talk about what you are going to do, they just want you to lead the way and do it.

They want you to keep it cool and NOT get emotional. So if you are the kind of guy that has a hard time keeping his emotions to himself, you are going to have to work on it.

They want you to be fun and entertaining, not boring and dull. Just because you are into collecting stamps or collecting model planes, it does not mean you have to bore the poor girl to death about your hobby. Women want you to make them laugh. So again, you have to be entertaining and fun.

They don’t want to know everything about you all at once, they want to wonder. So, no matter how tempting it may be you don’t have to tell them you whole life story. Women want to keep guessing. They want you to have more to talk about then “the game last night”, they want you to be interesting.

They want you to be headed somewhere, they want you to have a life goal or something you are trying to achieve. In other words, they want you to know what you want from life.

- Charm has an ally in eye contact. Never forget to look into someone’s eyes when speaking to them.
- Charming someone includes complimenting them. What you should compliment is relatively easy to figure out, just figure out what would it take to make you feel complimented, and do the same to others.
- Charm has to be sincere. It is strongest when you believe what you’re saying.
- Charm is done pleasantly and lightly.
- The secret to charm is to be selfless. You should not ask for anything, not even feedback.
- Charm isn’t sexual. It’s just warmth.
- Charm is exerting strong confidence.
- Charm at its simplest just says, “You are terrific. Thank you for letting me bask in your glow.”

For a person not to come off as rehearsed, one needs to practice. So where do you start? Any place. Practice on your mother, sister, dog, neighbor, dad, your boss, teacher, friends, the stranger on the street-corner. You will also be amazed at how charming people will be in return. Don’t forget to smile. It makes you look alive.

Set the Bait and Let Her Come to You

For a woman to know that you are interested, she must be aware of it. If she is not, then absolutely nothing will happen. You therefore have to take a risk. This is where the chase begins.

Pick the woman that you are interested in, wherever you may be. May I suggest that you choose your lady early and concentrate only on her the whole time you are there. If you start looking around too much, you will give her the impression that you are looking for anyone to sleep with. After you find her, begin by looking for body language signs, such as eye contact, a smile, hair touching, etc.

If you get these signs from her, you must move quickly. Most men just wait around eyeballing the lady the whole time. By the time they get the nerves to go talk to her, either someone else moved in, or she’ll think you are some perverted stalker because you gawked too much.

Okay, now you made your move. You initiated the conversation. Now how do you make sure you keep the conversation going, and ensure she remains interested? Spoil her with attention by asking her all types of questions regarding her life. No sex-related questions please. Instead, talk about her likes, her education, movies, even the current awkward situation. The important thing is to not mention anything about yourself, unless of course she asks you to. If she does, (this usually means she’s interested) please remember to be brief and move the topic back to focus to her. Once the conversation deepens, it is okay to mention that you’d like to keep in contact with her, and ask for a phone number!

Don’t Just Sit There…Call Her Up!

The first phone call should be at least two days after the encounter. The conversation should revolve around how much fun you had with her, and how impressed you were with her personality. In other words, compliment her like crazy. Make sure that the first phone call does not last more than twenty minutes. It is crucial that you end the first phone call first. If she ends the conversation, the ball is in her court. The conversation should end with you inviting her out for a coffee.
For Future Phone Call Notice: A lot of times when girls call me, I have noticed that when they call they will use the, “Hi. It’s me!” line. Don’t fall for this!

Even though you may have Caller ID or recognize their voice, NEVER acknowledge that you automatically know who it is. It’s a test to see if how whipped you are. So when a girl calls you and says, “Hi. It’s me”, respond with, “Who is this?” This throws her off and keeps her wondering whether she is the only girl you are seeing!

We all want to avoid hearing those dreaded words, “Let’s just be friends.”

Here is a little rule I have devised. Of course it’s not full-proof (but then again, what is?), but bear this in mind when meeting a new girl: You will have 2 meetings, starting from the moment the two of you meet, to assert that you want to be more than just friends. Now of course you want her to know that you are more than a wimpy nice guy from the very moment you meet her, but always assume that if you do not assert your charm within the first two meetings, she will consider you boyfriend material. If you do not do this within this timeframe, you will have an exponentially harder time convincing her that you are the man for her. So act fast, do what you need to do, and never hear these dreaded words ever again!

The Power of Patience

Most guys fail because they come on entirely too strong, too fast. After a couple of dates, they wanted to marry the person. Though they might have been smooth, they could not hold back their desire for a girlfriend. Women can sense this and recoiled from them instantly.

Women, on initial dates, just simply want to have fun and have a good time. Men can throw too much affection too soon, too fast, and scare the woman off. Women find this as ‘desperation’. It is the ultimate turn-off to them. Patience is NOT inaction nor ‘chickening’ out. Not asking out a woman you’re interested in is not being patient but being stupid. Patience is controlling your eagerness.

Have fun with the woman. Don’t take your outings so seriously. A woman must feel comfortable and secure with you before intimacy can begin. The key to her feeling comfortable and secure is by having fun WITH YOU. Older women (in their 40s, 50s) have told me that one of the most common mistakes guys can make is trying to jump into a strong relationship after only a couple of dates. They said that women simply want to have fun and that if the guy smothers her with affection, she will distance herself. After all, who wants to be with someone that appears eager and desperate?

1. Notice what she gives you.
Here’s what I mean. If, during the conversation, she mentions that she went bowling last week with her best friend, then you should ASK her about it. She’s giving you a way to ask her about her personal interests, and she’s hoping you’ll pick up on that, and run with it. Remember, take what she gives you, and use it as an entry way into a deeper conversation about personal interests, instead of being stuck in endless small talk (which she doesn’t want either).

2. Ask her direct questions about her personal interests.
Don’t make the mistake of spending too much time talking about “surface level” stuff, like the weather, or the other people in the place, or the band that’s playing. That kind of conversation is only interesting for the first couple minutes, because she’s waiting for you to take it to the next level. Don’t be afraid to just go ahead and ask her about herself. I know this sounds like common sense, but do you DO it in real life? If you see that she’s wearing an interesting necklace, ask her about it. If you saw her playing pool before, ask her who taught her how to play. The point is… you want to talk about personal stuff, not surface level crap. Start with small talk, but move out of it after a few minutes, or she’ll get bored of the conversation.

3. Don’t ask for a date. OFFER a date instead.
You’re not a child who has to ask permission anymore. If you want to take a woman out, just let her know that you’re interested in make an offer to spend time together at some place interesting. Lots of people make offers to you every day. Some you accept, some you don’t. Here’s an every day example: When you go through the drive thru at a fast food place, and you order a sandwich, what do you almost ALWAYS hear? Usually you’ll hear something like, “You can upgrade that to a combo meail for only a dollar more. Would you like to do that today?” It’s kind of the same thing with talking to women.

She’s already ordered the sandwich by having a nice conversation with you right now. You can simply let her know that you enjoy her company, and you’d like to offer her a chance to continue getting to know each other. If she says no, it doesn’t have anything to do with you as a person. It’s just not something she’s interested in, just like you’re not interested in buying the combo meal sometimes. Here’s why I bring this up. Those fast food places that offer the combos with each order have dramatically increased their total sales volume by juat making that simple offer.

You could do the same thing with your love life!

You could dramatically increase the amount of women you date just by offering each one that you’re interested in a chance to get to know you even better. If one says no… who cares? The next 2 will say yes. But ALWAYS make the offer.
The 14 year old kid at the drive thru isn’t afraid of you saying “No thanks, and you shouldn’t be afraid of some woman saying the same thing.

Remember, talking to women is not a sporting competition that you either win or lose. She’s a real person who’s giving you an opportunity to get to know her. She won’t always make it so easy for you, but just keep trying. Focusing on “getting a result” from the interaction is a huge mistake. It makes her feel like you see her as a “task” that needs to be completed instead of a person.

Do your best to get to know her, and forget about getting phone numbers and emails. When you become genuinely interested in the women you talk to, the phone numbers and emails will pile up faster than you can count them!

So, besides the reason mentioned above why is internet dating so great?

There are obviously other, more popular ways of meeting women. You can go to bars or clubs, speed dating, singles events, placing personal ads, even walk the streets looking for women to meet. But, internet dating beats all of them (at least for the average guy). Here is why

First of all, it is very cheap. You don’t need to dress up to sit in from of your computer, you don’t need to buy anything…that’s cheap.

It is also very fast, a lot faster than planning a day out. All you have to do is log on to the internet and send a greeting to the girl you want to talk to.

On top of all that, it is extremely simple to use and more importantly a lot of fun!

But the most important reasons that internet dating is king of all the different ways to meet women are…

A) Women are a lot more open to your “moves” on the internet then they are in person. There is nothing intimidating, uncomfortable or even scary to a woman about a bunch of typed text that you sent her.

B) You don’t have to fear being rejected face to face. That will eliminate being nervous, clumsy or scared. Basically, you can be as smooth as you want without screwing it up.

And whether you Like it or not, rejection is part of the dating process…a big part. Even the best looking men on the planet get a “no” more often then they hear a “yes”.

Why? Because most women look for more than just looks and money, they want comfort, fun, mystery and a whole bunch of other things most men simply don’t think about.

So don’t worry, even Brad Pitt gets rejected.

In a lot ways dating is a numbers game. And the problem with that is most men have terrible odds when it comes to dating. The job of this book is to lower the odds for you and make you more successful with the type of women you want to date.

But even if you are a busy guy, this guide is for you and that’s why internet dating is great. Put up a profile, tweak it a bit until it sounds good and away you go. It’s your own automated dating machine that’s up 24/7 attracting women around the clock.

And that reminds me of another great thing about online dating: not only will you be able to easily approach any woman you like, but woman will approach you as well!

And don’t worry, you don’t have to be attractive, rich or anything like that. In fact, the guys I know who are most successful with women don’t have a lot of money and they are just average looking men. Nothing special about them…except they know what women want, they behave and hold themselves in ways women find attractive.

Men think this because women have told them that guys who date other girls at the same time are scum, yet they continue to date them….

I’m not talking about sleeping with millions of women every week, I’m talking about going out and having fun and meeting new people in a friendly environment.

If a woman says after a few dates, I think we should date exclusively, you have to ask yourself if that’s what you want, do you want a relationship, because that is pretty much what she is asking.

Just be honest with everyone you date from day one and there will be no problems what so ever if you want to date multiple women at the same time.

Just don’t cheat on someone if you said you would date them exclusively, don’t be a jerk and treat women badly, just be honest and have fun and they will respect you for it.